The World Cup and Ramadan: expect fasting footballers

Over the next four weeks, 32 nations will battle it out on football fields across Brazil during the FIFA 2014 World Cup football tournament – but only two teams will represent the Middle East.

Proud props to Algeria and Iran – (and mabruk for a winning outcome!) – but while MENA nations may not be crowding the roster, these international games are increasingly dependent on contributions from dozens of Muslim players, many of whom are challenged with integrating faith with career.

This year, the last weeks of the World Cup coincide with the Islamic holy month of Ramadan, when the world’s one billion Muslims are expected to refrain from eating, drinking, smoking and sex, from before sunrise until sundown. How will practicing Muslim athletes cope?

As with last year’s summer Olympics – also twinned with Ramadan – some athletes may choose to fast throughout the entire month, including days when they train or play matches. Others may seek to defer fasting days until after the competition in order to ensure peak fitness and maximum hydration.

Nick Worth, Medical Director at the Abu Dhabi club Al Jazira, has experience helping Muslim footballers get through Ramadan. “The players I advised usually had a plan before Ramadan started. They would speak to their spiritual advisors and make a decision,” he told Goal.com. “Are you going to expect a Muslim player to be performing as well? Maybe you don’t play them from the start or use them in a different way,” he added.

Not everyone is so flexible. London-based Imam Ajmal Masroor, a member of the Muslim Council of Britain, said, “Firemen have to fast, police officers have to fast, school teachers have to fast – this is part of the challenge we [Muslims] endure.”

See our sampling of elite Muslim footballers heading to Brazil. Not all claim adherence to the mandates of their faith, nor do they broadcast their personal strategies for coping with Holy Month requirements. Most agree it’s a personal choice – handled on a case-by-case basis.

Let the games begin, and watch these Muslim stars shine.

9 steps to prepare for Ramadan

The righteous predecessors were very attentive to the worship to Almighty Allah, including paying great attention to the holy month of Ramadan.

So it is known that many of them used to pray to Allah during 6 months after the end of Ramadan to accept their fasting, and then in 6 months they would ask Allah to allow to see the next Ramadan, so that they have another opportunity to make this great worship, which is the fasting in this holy month.

In other words, we can see how the pious predecessors of this Ummah (community of Prophet Muhammad, pbuh) were prepared to meet the Ramadan.

So Abu Bakr al-Balkhi, may Allah bless him with mercy, said:

“Rajab is the month to sow the seeds; Shaban is the month to irrigate the crop; and Ramadan is the month to reap the harvest.”

And he also said:

“Rajab is like the wind; Shaban is like the water-laden clouds; and Ramadan is like the rain.”

- Here a question arose: how do we need to prepare for Ramadan?

The answer is: while preparing for the Holy Ramadan, bear in mind the following:

1. Sincere repentance

Repentance is demanded to be performed continuously, at any time. But it would be better for you with the approach of the blessed month to hurry up with repentance for all the sins you committed against Allah, and also against His creations.

So with the advent of the Blessed Ramadan, you could proceed to the commission of worship with pure and quiet heart. Almighty Allah says in the Quran:

“And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.”

Al-Agharr ibn Yasar al-Muzani, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said:

“O people! Turn in repentance towards Allah and ask His forgiveness. I turn towards Him a hundred times a day.”

2. Dua (supplication)

It is reported from some of the righteous predecessors that they used to ask Allah for the six months to extend their lives to see Ramadan in good health. Then, they used to ask Allah for five months after Ramadan to accept their good deeds committed in it. Therefore, you, by following their example, pray Allah that He gives you an opportunity to celebrate Ramadan in good health and with a strong faith, and ask Him for the help in worshiping Him, and for acceptance of good deeds.

3. Joy in light of the coming of the Holy month of Ramadan

The approach of this blessed month is a great boon for every believer after all, because this month is a period of blessing. It is a month when the gates of Paradise are open and the gates of Hell are closed. It is a month when the Holy Quran was sent down.

Allah said:

“Say, In the bounty of Allah and in His mercy – in that let them rejoice; it is better than what they accumulate.”

4. Replenishment of the left obligatory fastings

It is reported from Abu Salama, may Allah be pleased with him, that he said:

“I heard Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, as saying: “Sometimes I missed some days of Ramadan, but could not fast instead of them except in the month of Shaban.”"

Ibn Hajar, may Allah bless him with mercy, said:

“It can be drawn from the desire of Aisha to make up the missed days of Ramadan in the month of Shaban that any missed fasts to make up have to be made up before the next Ramadan comes.”

5. Acquisition of knowledge related to the dignity of the month of Ramadan, and with certain provisions of the fast.

6. The coming completion of all deeds that can distract you from worship in the month of Ramadan.

7. Explanation to the household, relatives and friends of the basic provisions of the fast. Motivation to “little ones” to participate in the fast, so that they could become accustomed to the basic kinds of worship in Islam from their childhood.

8. Fasting in the month of Shaban, in order to prepare for the month of Ramadan.

It is reported in an authentic hadith from Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, that she said:

“Sometimes the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, fasted so much that he even thought he did not break his fast in that month, and sometimes he broke his fast so much that we would say he did not fast. I did not see the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) fast in the whole month except Ramadan. I never saw him fast in any month more than he did in Shaban.”

It is also reported from Osama Bin Zeid, may Allah be pleased with him, that he said:

“O Messenger of Allah! I did not see you fasting in any month as you do in the month of Shaban.”
The Prophet said:

“People neglect this month which is between Rajab and Ramadan, in this month the deeds of the people are presented to Allah; so I like my deeds to be presented while I am fasting.”

This hadith explains the wisdom of fasting in the month of Shaban, namely the fact that deeds or actions are presented to Allah. Also, some scholars have pointed out other wisdom of the fasting in the month of Shaban, which lies in the fact that this fasting is like a sunna-prayer committed before the obligatory farz-prayer. Thus, a man prepares himself, a sort of warm-up before the fulfillment of the obligatory form of worship.

9. Reading the Quran

Salamah Ibn Suhayl, may Allah be pleased with him, used to say:

“The month of Shaban is the month of reciters of the Quran.”

When Shaban came, Amr Ibn Qays al-Malai, may Allah be pleased with him, used to close his store and devote his time to reading the Quran.

Now, having said all this, let’s look at our situation, and answer ourselves, being honest, how we prepare for this blessed month, and how we are going to meet it?

We ask Almighty Allah for help and assistance in preparing for the fasting, and for a worthy meeting of the Holy month of Ramadan!

Qur’an-based defence too challenging even for Muslim lawyers

Chiheb Esseghaier shuffled to the prisoner’s dock on Monday, his ankles bound in shackles, for what would be another lesson in his crash course in Canadian law.

Esseghaier is one of two men charged with terror-related offences in relation to a plot to derail a Via Rail passenger train somewhere between Toronto and New York City.

But his demand for a defence based on the Qur’an rather than the Criminal Code has thrown a wrench into even some of the routine proceedings in this case, and is proving difficult to accommodate.

Criminal defence lawyer Nader Hasan, a member of Canadian Muslim Lawyers Association, says he does not believe Esseghaier can get the lawyer he wants.

“You cannot answer those charges without resorting to law based on man-made Canadian Criminal code and Canadian constitutional principles,” Hassan said.

Not only does he think Esseghaier will not find the lawyer he wants, Hassan says the accused is potentially ignoring Islamic law.

“As a Muslim I know enough to know that Muslims, whether they live in a Muslim majority country or a majority non-Muslim county they have an obligation to follow the law of the state,” he said.

By any measure, this is a complex case that may take months to be heard.

It may take even longer if the 30-year-old Esseghaier, a metal sciences student in Montreal, winds up representing himself.

From his first appearances, via video link, Esseghaier has been demanding what most legal analysts say is an impossibility under Canadian law: a lawyer who will defend him based on the Qur’an.

According to Esseghaier, the Criminal Code is “man-made” law and not a “holy book.”

One lawyer, reportedly arranged through Legal Aid, did see Esseghaier in jail recently, but Esseghair said the man would not be able to take on the case because of the unusual requirements.

For now, at least, Esseghaier is without a lawyer, leading to some unusual scenes in court, such as the one that took place in Brampton on Monday.

After he was seated, shackles still in place, the lawyer for the second accused in this case rose, unexpectedly stepping in to help out Esseghaier.

Brydie Bethell, who represents 35-year-old Raed Jaser of Toronto, suggested to the judge that Esseghaier should not be shackled inside the courtroom.

The judge agreed, asking the guards to unlock the cuffs around his ankles.

It was not the only example of the court taking special steps to ensure that Esseghaier is treated properly and instructed on the law where necessary, even if it slows the proceedings.

Few options

One legal historian, Jim Phillips of the University of Toronto, says Canadian criminal courts have always barred requests to import other legal systems — a practice that goes back to pre-Confederation days, when First Nations asked to be tried based on aboriginal laws.

“I don’t know of any instance where someone can bring in from outside their kind of personal law and have it apply to them,” Phillips said.

It is the second time in two months that courts in Toronto have struggled with demands to accommodate religious beliefs within the confines of the criminal law.

In April, a judge ordered a woman to remove her niqab, or face veil, in order to testify against two men she alleges sexually assaulted her. That decision is now under appeal, for a second time.

In Esseghaier’s case, the court has few options. A judge could appoint a lawyer as an amicus curiae or friend of the court, to informally assist Esseghaier. The other option is to continue to have him represent himself.

Already, that is proving to be a challenge. A lawyer representing media organizations, which have applied to have confidential documents related to the case released publicly, said he had difficulty delivering legal papers to the unrepresented Esseghaier in prison.

Peter Jacobsen said guards were uncertain about what to do, though eventually the papers were served.

Jacobsen, though, said there are other problems, including simple matters such as scheduling court appearances, which are usually arranged between lawyers over the telephone, something they cannot do directly with an accused who is in jail.

In court on Monday, the judge was careful to explain the proceedings to Esseghaier, who took notes with a pen and paper supplied by the court. He made it clear to the judge that he does not want any documents released to the public, suggesting it was an invasion of his privacy.

He is scheduled to be back in court on June 25 in Toronto and Legal Aid officials say they are still searching for a solution.

Knowing yourself to know GOD – part one

I have always been intrigued by the saying of Ali (ra): “He who knows himself, knows God.” What is meant by this statement? Can we really get closer to God through self-analysis?The more I have reflected upon this the more I realize that it works on multiple levels.

Where are you from?

The first meaning is a very basic one: if someone were to ask you “tell me about yourself”, you would start with where you came from. For example, I would say something along the lines of, “I was born and raised in Canada, my parents immigrated to the Greater Toronto Area from Pakistan about forty years ago and I lived there until about two years ago.” So the first thing we would consider is a person’s ORIGIN.

On a deeper level, my origin (as well as yours) is Allah. We are the created and He is the Creator.  As believers, we are very blessed to be cognizant of this. Many people are not. I have been in several conversations with people, mostly well-intentioned, who tried to prove to me the non-existence of God. If you asked these very people about the origin of their cell-phones they will no doubt tell you that they came about through a lengthy and complex manufacturing process. But somehow, when you ask them where mankind came from, they attribute it to some kind of random accidental event. My usual response to this involves some version of pointing out the unfathomable complexities and subtleties that define the human race. Even if you’re not interested in the workings of the human body or human mind from a medical or psychological standpoint, you must marvel at the brilliance and intricacies of the final product. For me, it’s a profound “sign” for “those who reflect.” This most basic acknowledgement of our origin, therefore is the first step to knowing ourselves and it’s a step that unfortunately eludes many otherwise intelligent people.

The Prophet (sas) taught us that every human being inclines towards the fitrah (a deeply-ingrained, natural goodness.) This is where Islam differs from most other religions and worldviews. Despite our innate decency, however, life takes us in different directions. Our choices end up defining us. Islam also teaches that before our bodies existed and long before the earth was created, our souls were created. Allah (swt) asked us at that time, WHO IS YOUR LORD? And we all affirmed the Oneness and distinct sovereignty of God. So somewhere, deep within every one of us is this acute recognition of God and our true origin.  It is almost like a deep buried treasure within us just waiting to be uncovered.

Where are you going?

So the first way to know yourself is to know where you came from. The second is to know where you’re going. What’s your purpose and what is the point of all this? Just as we must try to strengthen our awareness of our true origin, we should simultaneously strive to remember that it is to Him that we will ultimately return. Our days on this earth are numbered. Life pretends like it is always going to be with you but in reality it is constantly slipping away from you. The Prophet (sas) warned us repeatedly not to get too attached to the life of this world and to approach life with the attitude of “being a traveller.”

To put it into perspective the Prophet (sas) asked his companions to picture an ocean and a drop of water from that ocean. That is the time we have here compared to the ultimate reality awaiting us in the hereafter.

We also know all of this will seem like a vague dream on the day of judgement and we will wonder how many days we spent here and it will seem like a small, inconsequential amount.

One of my favourite films of all time is a popular movie by the name of “Inception” starring Leonardo Dicaprio. One of the persistent themes in this brilliant film is the question of “What is reality?” When you’re dreaming, when you’re actually in the dream you feel like that is your reality. You are deeply in tune with everything happening around you, your senses are alert and working. If you drink something, you can actually taste it; if you touch something you can discern its texture. You feel every range of emotions humanly possible. Even the physiology of your body–your heart rate, your circulation, everything responds as if this thing is actually happening to you, even though it is really all in your head. That is how real dreams can be.  And then you wake up and within seconds the dream starts fading, memories start slipping, and what was your reality only moments ago is now just a hazy shell of a feeling. That is how we need to start imagining the life of this world. We need to know, really deeply know where we are ultimately going.

What is your essence?

The third way to know yourself is to recognize your essence. Now we know that Allah (swt) created us and we know that we’re returning to Him and the life of this world is just a series of tests. If you were born Muslim, then you have probably had these concepts drilled into you at a very young age.

But what is our essence?

At the most fundamental level, each of us has certain neutral attributes due to which we are just as much a part of the animal kingdom as say lions or elephants.These include our need for food, sleep and sex as well as a natural instinct that leans towards fighting and violence. These are the basest parts of our personalities.  The impulses controlling hunger and lust are in the lowest, least sophisticated portion of the brain. And for a lot of people, life is really limited to just fulfilling these impulses and whims. They never make it to the next levels. They live and die basically like animals.

The next facet of our essence struggling for control is our positive attributes. These are given to us by Allah (swt) and are the only reason anything great has ever come about on earth.  Any good book or work of poetry, any terrific work of art, exceptional parenting, splendid cooking, amazing works of architecture–whatever excellence has ever occurred is because people rose above their basest inclinations and struggled for something more.

This is what I believe is meant by the hadith of the Prophet: “Indeed Allah created Adam in His image.” (Muslim). Each of us possesses certain attributes like mercy, kindness, love, patience, gratitude, forgiveness, intelligence and empathy and that these are just a glimmer of those possessed by Allah (swt). For example, if Allah is THE MERCIFUL, or the source of all mercy, it is through Him that I’ve been given a little bit of mercy in my heart.  And the Prophet (sas) confirmed this line of thinking when he said:

“God divided mercy into 100 parts, out of which he retained 99 parts with Him, and sent down one part to earth. From this one part emanates all the compassion that all of creation exercises toward one another…” (Bukhari).

These are what scholars call the angelic attributes of man. Every person has some, and if we can train ourselves to strengthen these positive attributes for the sake of Allah, that is really what Islam is all about.

The intention is also critically important, however, because there are a lot of good people in the world doing excellent things, but as we know, the people who are good for any reason other than their relationship with God will receive their reward in this life and then their deeds will become like dust. The everlasting good deeds are those done for the pleasure of Allah (swt).

Even if we do not accomplish something extraordinary, one of the best things we can do as Muslims is have good manners with people. As the Prophet (sas) himself said “I have been sent for no other reason but to perfect good manners.” I think the priority of this Ummah more than anything is to struggle to bring morality and manners back to centre of Islamic practice.

The third category is the bad qualities each of us possesses.  Sometimes it is your own soul or nafs, sometimes it is the negative people around you, and sometimes it’s Satan and his agents: the world has plenty of sources of evil and corruption and the wise Muslim really strives to minimize their influence on his essence.

Part of knowing yourself is recognizing your weaknesses.  If you’re at work one day and your boss turns to you and your colleague and says, “I need one of you to give a presentation and one of you to crunch these numbers…” your automatic thought will be to avoid the task that corresponds with your weakness. Alternatively, suppose you’re trying to lose weight and you have no problem exercising but you like to eat everything. There’s no point perpetually focusing on the exercise. You are already excelling at that aspect of the problem. To make an actual, sustainable change, at some point you will need to recognize that you eat too much and do something about it. You cannot simply keep consolidating your strengths while ignoring your weaknesses.

We need to think like this in terms of our deen as well. Maybe I’m not quick to anger or jealousy but I’m a very impatient person. I want immediate results. I like people to fall within my expectations. Maybe I’m a rude wife or maybe I like luxury and spend too much money. Whatever it is, recognizing and acknowledging your personal weaknesses are the necessary first step to confronting them.  It is just like those Alcoholics Anonymousmeetings where they teach you that the first step isacceptance. Unfortunately, many of us spend years and years repeating the same mistakes and essentially go on into denial.

If you have a specific problem, study the cure for it. If uncontrollable lust is your challenge and you cannot get married, the Prophet (sas) advised fasting and lowering the gaze. If you have a bad temper, RasulAllah counselled leaving the room, making wudu or lying down.Our religion contains prescriptions for nearly everything.

Your soul then is like a battleground between your animal instincts, your positive attributes and your negative tendencies.  And we all know which part of our essence needs to win for us to make it to Jannah.

A reminder on Islamic ethics and manners

The religion of Islam has rules of etiquette and manners covering every aspect of life. These are applicable for the whole society, the old and the young, men and women. These manners cover even minor acts such as entering or exiting a bathroom, posture while sitting and cleaning oneself.

In a Hadith reported by Imam Muslim (also reported by Abu Dawood, Al-Tirmizi, Al-Nasai and Ibn Majah) at the time of the Prophet (Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him), one of the polytheists mockingly said to his companion Salman al-Farsi (Allah’s be well pleased with him), “Your prophet has taught you everything, even the manners of going to the toilet.” Salman Radiallaho Anho answered, “Yes, the Prophet (Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him) forbade us from facing the Qibla when urinating or relieving oneself”. Salman (Allah’s be well pleased with him) continued, “The Prophet (Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him) asked us not to use the right hand when cleaning ourselves and to use at least three stones for cleaning”.

Abdullah Ibn Al- Mubarak said: “Mukhlid Ibn Al-Hussain once said to me, we are more in need of acquiring adab (etiquettes) than learning Hadith.” If this statement was true several centuries ago then it is truer now. The mere acquisition of knowledge alone is insufficient to build a sound and balanced Islamic personality. This is why Imam Zakariya Al-Anbari once said: “Knowledge without adab is like fire without wood and adab without knowledge is like a spirit without a body.”

Imam Ibn al-Qayyim quoted the early Sufis as saying: “Tasawwuf is good manners and anyone who surpasses you in manners is better than you in Tasawwuf.” Ibn al-Qayyim comments on this by saying, “No, the Deen (of Islam) itself is manners. Anyone surpassing you in manners is better than you in the Deen. This is true as we need only quote the Hadith related in Al-Bukari wherein the Prophet (Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him) says: “I have been sent (as a messenger) for the perfection of morals.”

The more dignified the manners, the more stable and vibrant the social fabric of the society. But sadly, we live in times where adab is lacking at all levels of society. We live in an ‘adab-less’ society where parents are disrespected, teachers are not treated with due honour, elders are not given their due rights and the basic manners of eating, drinking, visiting, appearance and conversation are not observed. So sad is the predicament that books have to be written and lectures having to be delivered in order to teach adab. Traditionally, adab was not something that was formally taught, it was something acquired and embodied in the very interaction between people. The importance of manners is such that though they may seem trivial but the actions of a believer may be rendered null and void if manners are lacking.

In the Holy Quran Allah Taa’la says:

“O you who believe, raise not your voices above the voice of the prophet, nor speak aloud to him in talk, as you speak aloud to one another, lest your deeds may be rendered while you perceive not.”

Many of the Muslims, especially the youth of today, are not ill-mannered because of intentionally failing to abide by basic manners, but because they are truly ignorant of what manners are.

Many books have been written on this subject but especially the following two should be studied (1) Aadabul Muaasharat written by Sheikh Ashraf Ali Thanwi (2) Khasail Nabawi which is the commentary of Shamail Tirmizi written by Sheikh Muhammad Zakariyya Kaandhlawi.

World’s first search engine for Muslim travellers launched

The concept of Halal travel takes a giant leap forwards this month as the world’s first ever meta search engine for Muslim travellers officially launches. LagiSatu.com’s Halal tourism concept taps into the emerging global trend for Halal travel.

Pegged as one of the biggest initiatives in the burgeoning Halal tourism sector, LagiSatu’s unique approach is based on a Halal stars rating system which rates and lists travel services and facilities based on Muslim needs. Travellers can search for hotels and evaluate their accommodation options based on the amenities and services provided at the destination specifically for practising Muslims.

LagiSatu.com co-founder Faeez Fadhlillah said, “With a total of 240 million people living in South East Asia considered as Muslim, with Indonesian being the largest Muslim country by population in the world, we have recognised that there is a strong demand for the concept of Halal travel. We are very pleased to incorporate HalalStars with LagiSatu and believe this will ultimately set us apart from other Meta search engines and other travel comparison websites. It was incredibly satisfying to have our innovation recognized by the WebInTravel awards and is a positive start for our brand new concept. Around 40% of South East Asia residents alone are practising Muslims, suggesting global demand for the HalalStars concept will be unprecedented in the travel industry.”

Travellers logging on to LagiSatu to search for their next hotel will be able to compare their options using HalalStars. It will rate each hotel based on various religious considerations. These include;

Room Amenities

• Praying Mat
• Qiblah Direction
• Quran
• Ablution Facilities
• Hotel Services
• Qiblah Direction can be obtained
• List of Halal Restaurants can be obtained
• Local Praying Times can be obtained
• List of Mosques can be obtained
• Food
• Halal Room Service
• Pre-order Halal Food
• Halal Restaurant
• Iftar & Sahoor can be arranged

As the world’s first meta search engine to incorporate the Halal rating concept, LagiSatu.com is the natural online destination for business and leisure travellers planning their next trip. Visitors logging on will find the best hotel deals available online with just a single click. It compares prices on more than 250,000 hotels in over 180 countries around the world, with new hotels and destinations added daily. Partners include some of the biggest names in global travel: LateRooms.com, Agoda, eBookers, Expedia, Hotelclub and many more.

Enjoying married life the halal way

Her hands still show faint remnants of the intricate patterns of henna applied on the day of her nikah.

Their bedroom still emanates a whiff of fragrance of wilting roses still majestic in their ‘faded glory’.

The customary blushes, shyness, nervousness and social awkwardness still mark their nouveau relationship.

The initial days and nights after a wedding are a blur of activity for a newly married couple, as they respond to invitations by close family and friends to dinner parties, lunches and other social get-togethers with culturally resplendent bridal splendor.

As the newly married husband and wife get sucked into the whirlpool of wedding-related activities, alternating between intimate nocturnal moments and frenzied daytime decking up and dining, it is easy to slip into heedlessness of God and laid-backness regarding acts of worship.

There are a few things that the new bride and groom can do in order to prevent their marriage from creating a distance between them and God on an individual level. The answer lies in ‘joining forces’ to become each other’s pillar of support in staying closely connected to God during this blissful and blessed milestone of their young lives.

Praying Together

Late night dinners and frequent intimacy should not become an excuse to miss prayers, especially the pre-dawn Fajr prayer. The bride and groom should use their cell phones to put alarms for prayers that are spaced out in time, so that if one of them shuts off their alarm, rolls over and promptly goes back to sleep, the subsequent alarm set by the other spouse can wake them both up. It should be a priority for them that no prayer is ever missed when they are in each other’s company.

Many a young man who used to sleeping through Fajr during single life, has been known to reform as soon as he married a righteous, whose wife starts waking him up for Fajr when she gets up to pray herself.

It is for this reason that Prophet Muhammad has wisely and emphatically given the advice below to all single Muslim men:

“A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, or for her religion. Choose the religious one, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” (Ibn Majah)

Daily Reviewing the Quran Together

A few minutes per day should be set aside by the newlywed couple to review the Quran together, preferably early in the morning, before the day’s flurry of activities begin.

In order to help themselves remember to connect to the Quran every day, the husband and wife should recall how, innumerable times in the past when they were single, they used to pray with extra khushu’ (concentration), and recite the Quran with extra concentration, in order to earnestly supplicate to God afterwards for a righteous spouse; for the halal means of satisfying their biological urges; for completing half of their faith.

They should recall the many hours they spent fantasizing about what their future spouse would be like, and what kind of romantic dates they’d go on with them to fully enjoy married life.

Now that all those dreams are coming true, with romantic walks on sun-kissed beaches and cozy dinners at quaint restaurants, the bride and groom should try to consistently remember and thank God for granting them what they asked Him for in their dua’.

And, as a means of thanking Him, they should try to study the Quran together on a daily basis, reviewing the Arabic recitation, translation, and short exegesis of a few verses. One of them can start this review with recitation and tajweed, after which they can take turns in reading from the meanings of the text, gleaning practical lessons for their lives from those verses.

In this way, God will purify and bless the love that they have for each other, by transforming it into the selfless love that is purely for the sake of Allah.

Observing the Islamic Etiquette of Intimacy

A brother once attended a wedding at the masjid that was convened on a Friday after Jumu’ah prayers. In the khutbah, the imam exhorted the importance of a bride and groom never missing an obligatory prayer due to physical intimacy/conjugal relations.

He also claimed that when a husband and wife allow an obligatory prayer to be missed due to lovemaking, and if this intimacy results in a pregnancy, then the child that is born is disobedient and unrighteous.

The newly married husband and wife should take utmost care in following the Islamic etiquette of sexual intimacy i.e. starting with the prophetic supplication, and culminating with a timely ghusl (avoiding dozing off in a state of sexual impurity). They should also beware of straying into deviant forms of sexual satisfaction that would disgust any one possessing a sound mind and pure heart, such as those that humiliate or cause pain to one or both of the spouses.

When their physical, sexual relationship will commence on the right footing, i.e. including the remembrance of God and following the model of the sunnah (way) of Prophet Muhammad, the blessings of these conjugal relations will be felt and reaped by the couple in all the other areas of their marital life as well, for years to come,insha’Allah.

Attending Islamic Lectures and Workshops

Once they are married and a bit more settled into routine life, returning to their job or going back to classes at school, the newlyweds seize opportunities to spend leisurely time together in doing interesting, outgoing things, especially on weekends and public holidays.

In order to mix the pleasure of God with permissible entertainment and recreation, newlywed couples can attend Islamic lectures and workshops together.

If these workshops or lectures are in another city or state, the travel involved can bring a welcome breather from routine life, allowing them to sightsee and explore new places, in addition to gaining more knowledge of Islam, and making new friends in the path of God.

One of the best ways to listen to Quran recitation and beneficial lectures is to play CD’s and tapes of the same in the car when out and about, especially on longer rides and road trips.

I have personally seen the immense benefits of listening to beneficial tapes in the car over the years, and the best part is that this kind of learning takes no extra effort. Eventually, when the babies come along, it will amaze the parents to witness how quickly they start memorizing and retaining the Quran, only because they heard it being played repeatedly in the car whenever they went out!

Thankfully, the beauty of undertaking Islamic activities with one’s spouse as a form of leisure, is that there is great benefit and blessings in “mixing business with pleasure”!

Remembering God in the Natural Outdoors

Whether it is attending late-night cocktail parties at clubs, bars or elitist hotels with other couples, watching adult-themed films at home in bed, or hitting the theaters to catch the trending blockbusters, newlyweds sometime end up committing sins together in the name of romance, enjoyment and leisurely entertainment. They allow themselves to become heedless of God and the limits of Islam whilst blissfully riding the wave of youthful euphoria and gushy romance following their marriage.

The fact is that there are many alternative options for having fun with your spouse the halal way. Even better are those modes of enjoyment that combine the worship and remembrance of God with leisure and relaxation.

It would not just be more enjoyable to go picnicking, hiking, bicycling, kayaking, snorkeling, camping, or sailing – taking in the lovely, sprawling natural outdoors – but such outings will also rejuvenate the couple’s faith in God by allowing them to gaze at and admire the natural beauty that He has spread out through the earth.

When the time for prayer comes during these outdoor trysts, the adventuring couple can enjoy praying on grassy hills, lakesides, or tree-lined forest trails, surrounded by scenic beauty. Praying outdoors like this is truly one of life’s most beautiful experiences!

Touristy Trysts

Other alternative recreation that can enable young newlyweds to have some fun, includes amusement parks, which provide almost child-like excitement and thrills, and trips to educational museums and parks. Going to such places is a healthier alternative to wasting time, energy, money and bodily strength on modes of entertainment that incur the wrath of God instead of His pleasure.

If the couple can afford it, they can combine their vacation or honeymoon with an ‘umrah in order to incorporate the worship of God and an uplift of faith into their leisurely travels, as a gesture of thanking God for marrying them to each other, and granting them the blessings of marital bliss that ignite hopes for a bright and prosperous future ahead in life.

Conclusion: Bonding Through the Love of God

The newlywed phase lasts no more than a few months or a year or two, in which life is slow in pace and blissfully idyllic for a couple that is happily married and in love. As the bride experiments in the kitchen, the groom tries to squeeze in as much private time as he can with her after work hours and other commitments.

During the newlywed phase, the husband and wife should focus not just on bonding with each other, but also on sealing their relationship with the blessing of God’s pleasure, by becoming each other’s pillar of support in faith.

They will then come together, with God’s help, as a dynamic duo so strong in faith, that Satan and his army will not be able to come near them or their future generations, insha’Allah.

Jesus from a Muslim perspective

Jesus of Nazareth is the most widely revered religious figure in the world. Not only is he central to Christianity, the largest religion in the world, he is also venerated throughout Islam, the world’s second largest faith.

Christians may be surprised to learn that Muslims believe in the Virgin Birth and Jesus’ miracles. But this shared interest in his message goes much further.

In our scientific age, the miraculous side of Jesus’ story has greatly obscured his role in the prophetic tradition. In this sense, there may be more important questions for Muslims and Christians than whether he walked on water or raised the dead.

In the Muslim view, Jesus’ essential work was not to replicate magic bread or to test our credulity, but to complement the legalism of the Torah with a leavening compassion rarely expressed in the older testament. His actions and words introduce something new to monotheism: They develop the merciful spirit of God’s nature. Jesus confirmed the Torah, stressing the continuity of his lineage, but he also developed the importance of compassion and self-purification as crucial links between learning the words of God’s message and possessing the wisdom to carry it out.

Oddly enough, some of the recent work by New Testament scholars seems to have reached a view of Christ not all that different from Muslims’. For us and for these scholars, Jesus appears not as a literal son of God in human form, but as an inspired human being, a teacher of wisdom with a talent for love drawn from an unbroken relationship to God. Both versions present him as a man who spoke to common people in universal terms.

Two events in the life of the prophet Muhammad may help explain why Muslims revere Jesus.

The first event involves an elder resident of Mecca named Waraqa bin Nawfal. This man was an early Arab Christian and an uncle of Muhammad’s wife, Khadija. We know he could read Hebrew, that he was mystical by nature, and that he attended Khadija and Muhammad’s wedding in about 595 C.E. Fifteen years later, a worried Khadija sought Waraqa out and brought her husband to him.

At the time, Muhammad was a 40-year-old respected family man. He attended this “family therapy” session in a rare state of agitation. He was frightened. He had been meditating one evening in a cave on the outskirts of town. There, while half asleep, he had experienced something so disturbing that he feared he was possessed. A voice had spoken to him.

Waraqa listened to his story, which Muslims will recognize as a description of Muhammad’s first encounter with the angel Gabriel.

“What you have heard is the voice of the same spiritual messenger God sent to Moses. I wish I could be a young man when you become a prophet! I would like to be alive when your own people expel you.”

“Will they expel me?” Muhammad asked.

“Yes,” the old man said. “No one has ever brought his people the news you bring without meeting hostility. If I live to see the day, I will support you.”

The second important event concerning Islam and Christianity dates from 616, a few years after Muhammad began to preach publicly. This first attempt to reinstate the Abrahamic tradition in Mecca met (as Waraqa had warned) with violent opposition.

Perhaps the Meccans resented Muhammad’s special claim. Perhaps his message of a single, invisible, ever-present God threatened the economy of their city. A month’s ride south from the centres of power in Syria and Persia, poor remote Mecca depended on long-distance trade and on seasonal pilgrims who came there each year to honour hundreds of pagan idols, paying a tax to do so.

At any rate, Muhammad’s disruptive suggestion that “God was One” and could be found anywhere did not sit well with the businessmen of Mecca.

Many new Muslims were being tortured. Their livelihoods were threatened, their families persecuted. As matters grew worse, in 616 Muhammad sent a small band of followers across the Red Sea to seek shelter in the Christian kingdom of Axum. There, he told them, they would find a just ruler, the Negus, who could protect them. The Muslims found the Negus in his palace, somewhere in the borderland between modern Ethiopia and Eritrea.

And protect them he did, after one Muslim recited to him some lines on the Virgin Mary from the Qur’an. The Negus wept at what he heard. Between Christians and Muslims, he said, he could not make out more difference than the thickness of a twig.

These two stories underscore the support Christians gave Muhammad in times of trial. The Qur’an distils the meaning from the drama:

Those who feel the most affection

For us (who put our faith in the Qur’an),

Are those that say, “We are Christians,”

For priests and monks live among them

Who are not arrogant. When they listen

To what We have shown Muhammad,

Their eyes brim over with tears

At the truth they find there….

Even today, when a Muslim mentions Jesus’ name, you will hear it followed by the phrase “peace and blessings be upon him,” because Muslims still revere him as a prophet.

We believe in God

And in what has been sent down to us,

What has been revealed to Abraham and Ishmael

And Isaac and Jacob and their offspring,

And what was given to Moses and to Jesus

And all the other prophets of the Lord.

We make no distinction among them.

As these lines from the Qur’an make clear, Muslims regard Jesus as one of the world’s great teachers. He and his mentor John the Baptist stand in a lineage stretching back to the founder of ethical monotheism. Moreover, among Muslims, Jesus is a special type of prophet, a messenger empowered to communicate divinity not only in words but by miracles as well.

Muslims, it must be said, part company with some Christians over the portrait of Jesus developed in the fourth and fifth centuries. Certain fictions, Muslims think, were added then. Three of these come in for special mention: First, Muslims consider monastic asceticism a latter-day innovation, not an original part of Jesus’ way. Second, the New Testament suffers from deletions and embellishments added after Jesus’ death by men who did not know him. Third, the description of Jesus as God’s son is considered by Muslims a later, blasphemous suggestion.

Muslims venerate Jesus as a divinely inspired human but never, ever as “the son of God.” In the same vein, we treat the concept of the Trinity as a late footnote to Jesus’ teachings, an unnecessary “mystery” introduced by the North African theologian Tertullian two centuries after Jesus’ death. Nor do Muslims view his death as an act of atonement for mankind’s sins. Rather, along with the early Christian theologian Pelagius, Islam rejects the doctrine of original sin, a notion argued into church doctrine by St. Augustine around the year 400.

It might almost be said that Islam holds a view of Jesus similar to some of the early apostolic versions condemned by the fourth-century Byzantine Church. Once Constantine installed Christianity as the Roman Empire’s state religion, a rage for orthodoxy followed. The Councils of Nicaea (325), Tyre (335), Constantinople (381), Ephesus (431), and Chalcedon (451) were official, often brutal attempts to stamp out heterodox views of Jesus held by “heretical” theologians.

Rulings by these councils led to the persecution and deaths of tens of thousands of early Christians at the hands of more “orthodox” Christians who condemned them. Most disputes centred on divergent interpretations of the Trinity. For this reason, historians of religion sometimes see in these bloody divisions one of the root causes for early Islam’s firmly Unitarian outlook.

Then and now, no more dangerous religious mistake exists for a Muslim than dividing the Oneness of God by twos or threes.

Despite these important differences, however, the Qur’an repeatedly counsels Muslims not to dispute with other monotheists over matters of doctrine. People, it says, believe differently for good reasons. In fact, that is a part of Allah’s will.

Falling in Love… with the Real Thing

It’s never easy to let go. Or is it? Most of us would agree that there are few things harder than letting go of what we love. And yet, sometimes that’s exactly what we have to do. Sometimes we love things that we can’t have. Sometimes we want things that are not good for us. And sometimes we love what Allah does not love. To let go of these things is hard. Giving up something the heart adores is one of the hardest battles we ever have to fight.

But what if it didn’t have to be such a battle? What if it didn’t have to be so hard? Could there ever be an easy way to let go of an attachment? Yes. There is.

Find something better…

They say you don’t get over someone until you find someone or something better. As humans, we don’t deal well with emptiness. Any empty space must be filled. Immediately. The pain of emptiness is too strong. It compels the victim to fill that place. A single moment with an empty spot causes excruciating pain. That’s why we run from distraction to distraction, and from attachment to attachment.

In the quest to free the heart, we speak a lot about breaking our false dependencies. But then there’s always the question of ‘how?’ Once a false attachment has been developed, how do we break free? Often it feels too hard. We get addicted to things, and can’t seem to let them go. Even when they hurt us. Even when they damage our lives and our bond with God. Even when they are so unhealthy for us. We just can’t let them go. We are too dependent on them. We love them too much and in the wrong way. They fill something inside of us that we think we need…that we think we can’t live without. And so, even when we struggle to give them up, we often abandon the struggle because it’s too hard.

Why does that happen? Why do we have so much trouble sacrificing what we love for what God loves? Why can’t we just let go of things? I think we struggle so much with letting go of what we love, because we haven’t found something we love more to replace it.

When a child falls in love with a toy car, he becomes consumed with that love. But what if he can’t have the car? What if he has to walk by the store every day, and see the toy he can’t have? Every time he walks by, he would feel pain. And he may even struggle not to steal it. Yet, what if the child looks past the store window and sees a Real car? What if he sees the Real Ferrari? Would he still struggle with his desire for the toy? Would he still have to fight the urge to steal it? Or would he be able to walk right past the toy—the disparity in greatness annihilating the struggle?

We want love. We want money. We want status. We want this life. And like that child, we too become consumed with these loves. So when we can’t have those things, we are that child in a store, struggling not to steal them. We are struggling not to commit haram for the sake of what we love. We are struggling to let go of the haram relationships, business dealings, actions, dress. We are struggling to let go of the love of this life. We are the stumbling servant struggling to let go of the toy…because it’s all we see.

This whole life and everything in it is like that toy car. We can’t let go of it because we haven’t found something greater. We don’t see the Real thing. The Real version. The Real model.

Allah (swt) says,

“What is the life of this world but amusement and play? But verily the Home in the Hereafter,- that is life indeed, if they but knew.” (29:64)

When describing this life, Allah uses the Arabic word for ‘life’: الْحَيَاةُ. But, when describing the next life, Allah here uses the highly exaggerated term for life, الْحَيَوَانُ. The next life is the Real life. The Realer life. The Real version. And then Allah ends the ayah by saying “If they but knew”. If we could see the Real thing, we could get over our deep love for the lesser, fake model.

In another ayah, God says:

“But you prefer the worldly life, while the Hereafter is better and more enduring.” (87:16-17)

The Real version is better in quality (خَيْرٌ) and better in quantity (أَبْقَىٰ). No matter how great what we love in this life is, it will always have some deficiency, in both quality (imperfections) and quantity (temporary).

This is not to say that we cannot have or even love things of this life. As believers we are told to ask for good in this life and the next. But it is like the toy car and the real car. While we could have or even enjoy the toy car, we realize the difference. We understand fully that there is a lesser model (dunya: coming from the root word ‘daniya’, meaning ‘lower’) and there is the Real model (hereafter).

But how does that realization help us in this life? It helps because it makes the ‘struggle’ to follow the halal, and refrain from the haram easier. The more we can see the Real thing, the easier it becomes to give up the ‘unreal’—when necessary. That does not mean we have to give up the ‘unreal’ completely, or all the time. Rather it makes our relationship with the lesser model (dunya) one in which if and when we are asked to give something up for the sake of what is Real, it is no longer difficult. If we are asked to refrain from a prohibition that we want, it becomes easier. If we are asked to be firm in a commandment that we don’t want, it becomes easier. We become the matured child who likes to have the toy, but if ever asked to choose between the toy and the Real thing, see a ‘no-brainer’. For example, many of the Prophet’s (pbuh) companions had wealth. But when the time came, they could easily give half or all of it for Allah’s sake.

This focus also transforms what we petition for help or approval. If we’re in desperate need of something, we will appeal to the servant—only when we don’t see or know the King. But if we’re on our way to meet that King and we run into His servant, we may greet the servant, be kind to the servant, even love the servant. But we will not waste time trying to impress the servant, when there is a King to impress. We will never waste effort appealing to the servant for our need, while the King is the One in control. Even if the King had given some authority to the servant, we’d know very well that the power to give and take rests ultimately with the King—and the King alone. This knowledge comes only from knowing and seeing the King.  And this knowledge completely transforms how we interact with the servant.

Seeing the Real thing transforms the way we love. Ibn Taymiyyah (RA) discussed this concept when he said: “If your heart is enslaved by someone who is forbidden for him: One of the main causes for this miserable situation is turning away from Allah, for once the heart has tasted worship of Allah and sincerity towards Him, nothing will be sweeter to it than that, nothing will be more delightful or more precious. No one leaves his beloved except for another one he loves more, or for fear of something else. The heart will give up corrupt love in favor of true love, or for fear of harm.”

One of our greatest problems as an ummah is as the Prophet (pbuh) told us in a hadith: wahn (love of dunya and hatred of death). We’ve fallen in love with dunya. And anytime you are in love, it becomes next to impossible to get over that love or separate from it—until you are able to fall in love with something greater. It is next to impossible to dislodge this destructive love of dunya from our hearts, until we find something greater to replace it. Having found a greater love, it becomes easy to get over another one. When the love of God, His messenger (pbuh) and the Home with Him is really seen, it overpowers and dominates any other love in the heart. The more that love is seen, the more dominate it becomes. And thereby the easier it will be to really actualize the statement of Ibraheem (AS):

“Say, ‘Indeed, my prayer, my service of sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of the worlds.’” (6:162)

So in letting go, the answer lies in love. Fall in love. Fall in love with something greater. Fall in love with the Real thing. See the Mansion.

Only then, will we stop playing in the dollhouse.