As I’m sure you’ve noticed, I like to bring you, the good, the intriguing and the downright bizarre (depending how you look at it) from around the world of Islam. Every now and again I find a piece of news that makes me just sit up and say “Wow!”
I’ve got a lot to the thank the Internet for (haven’t we all…) I mean, I wouldn’t be terribly effective sitting in the library at a typewriter, now would I?
As I zoom around the world in 80 clicks, in the name of gathering Muslim and Arab extracts, essence and anecdotes I love finding things that defy my own perceptions.
Before I go any further, I’d like to reiterate that our purpose here at LoveHabibi is to disperse some of the myths about Islamic and Arabic culture, and to show the other side of the coin, without always sharing the opinion dictated in the scrumptious morsels and sound bytes we unearth…
Today’s blog is about that ooch-koochy, ouchy, itchy-scratchy, ummy-aahy subject… of polygamy.
A Club for Winners?
The Polygamy Club is not what you might expect from Malaysia. This predominantly Muslim country’s 27 million inhabitants, live under traditional social codes, where drinking alcohol or liaising with unmarried members of the opposite sex can land you in a lotta bother. Polygamy may be legal for Muslims in Malaysia, but it’s hardly prolific.
Yet, “The Club”, which is based in Rawang, outside Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia’s largest city, seeks to alter that and, to remove the stigma as though it were a bee-sting that if handled carefully could be delicately extracted. Its modus operandi is quite remarkable and orients towards social inclusion and improvement: aiming to help single mothers, reformed prostitutes and women who feel they are over the hill and past marrying age.
Twist in the Tale
The club has 300 husbands and 700 wives. Run by the Ashaari Clan, The Polygamy Club’s founder… is actually a woman, Hatijah Aam.
Herself one of 4 wives all married to the same man, Hatijah claims the perception and not the practice that needs to change:
“We want to change the way people perceive polygamy, so that it will be seen as something beautiful instead of something disgusting.” She said in an interview with The Star.
Club members believe polygamy deters adultery and The P.C aims to cultivate examples of happy households as a way of countering women’s rights activists who say wives and children suffer in polygamous marriages.
Caring is Sharing vs. Someone for Everyone
The practice of polygamy in Malaysia has fizzled to just 2% of all Muslim marriages as women have become freer and careers have opened up for them.
There are two very diverging schools of thought on the matter, as revealed by the article in The Star:
The Polygamists Say:
Let’s go back to our roots: The Prophet Muhammad married more than ten women in his lifetime, including widows in need of shelter and protection.
“Some people treat polygamy as a laughing matter because they do not fully comprehend it… But a community that practices it would know that it is not bizarre. In fact, you would be teased if you were a man with only one wife.” – Ikramullah, Businessman and son of his father’s first wife.
The Monogamists Say:
Polygamy is bad for women and bad for society and ends up in unhappiness and often divorces.
“It is not a culture that is encouraged in our society.” – Shahrizat Abdul Jalil, Female Muslim Minister of Malaysian Family Policy.
“It isn’t good for women: if people choose to be monogamous, there are enough men for every woman.” – Sisters in Islam, an advocacy group campaigning against polygamy (in a statement to The Associated Press.)
Keeping It in the Family
Most husbands who belong to The Polygamy Club keep each wife in a home of her own and rotate between households unless the women agree to live under one roof. The families mingle easily in public, chatting and joking.
The whole club gathers for religious holidays and other festivities, such as a recent “Family Day” where they had a picnic and performed songs for each other.
The club is funded by the family businesses, be they stores, restaurants etc. Its plans for the near future include extending its services to encompass matchmaking, wedding planning and marriage counselling.
Malaysia is not the only country where such a club is in operation. See also this BBC News article on a polygamy club functioning in Indonesia.
No comments:
Post a Comment